Rabbi Avi Weinstein

Archive for July 2nd, 2009|Daily archive page

Why are Men Such Bozos!!!????

In Uncategorized on July 2, 2009 at 2:23 pm

Jenny Sanford succinctly and poignantly outlines what should make a marriage last. The operative term is the “will” to persevere during the hard times.

I always wondered why the Rambam didn’t put marriage as his example for a relationship built on ideals–instead, he sees marriage as a reciprocal partnership, which, of course, it is. That was enough for Jenny Sanford, but not enough for her narcissistic husband, who needs validation that he still has “it”–which, of course, indicates that he’s lost “it” in more ways than one.

The illusory nature of romance will not sustain a relationship for a lifetime, but the will to be a loyal partner and companion, may. As many of us have learned, the will to be a faithful partner has to be shared by both parties or the relationship is destined for failure. Unfortunately, this is something that often can’t be known ahead of time, but of consenting adults who are not physically violent, or financially irresponsible, still require more than these trappings of decency to sustain a marriage. They require a mutual commitment that is not subject to the vagaries of the emotional turmoil that is part of everyday living.

It is not incidental that a wife in the Talmud is referred to as a “home”. Jenny Sanford provided a haven for a man who seems to be considerably less able and talented than she is. But why are we surprised? A politician’s job is to convince himself that hundreds of thousands adore him. Many need to be adored and why shouldn’t that need be reciprocated by more than just one woman. In fact, the truly great (looking) ones–Kennedy, and Clinton have been compromised, but have also maintained their allure and to a degree their legacy. Sanford was just following in their footsteps. Didn’t he compare himself to King David, after all?

Jenny, however, did not require the adoration of throngs, just a commitment from her husband. She was formidable in her own right, and was happy to demonstrate her competence in a way that furthered her ideals, and her commitment to her husband. This, however, was a not enough for Mark Sanford, who can only mollify himself by saying, “Well, at least she didn’t have cancer!”

Do we really believe that the Argentine home wrecker is his ‘soul-mate‘? Seriously.

Well, maybe this week.